Capsule Trickery

First published on the now-defunct Wayward Wine Pixie blog on July 14, 2015

I needed a bottle of wine, and fast. I popped into the local Signature store near my daughter’s daycare to quickly grab something for dinner.

That woman was there. The same one every time. She hawks something different each time from her portfolio and will drag you over to her station from four aisles away if you let her. She always perches right in the French wine section, furthering my frustration as I can’t concentrate on the shelves with her constant nattering:

“Oh, you like French wine? This Malbec is great!”

“Oh, you like sparkling, try this!!”

– Oh, piss off.

Italian wine

So I hightailed it to Italy. Grabbed the first thing that looked of interest – in my price range and would likely go with dinner.

Didn’t expect much from this wine, and I was right. Easy drinking, no thinking, no face-ripping tannins to impede the meal. Though truthfully that $15 could have been better spent. Likely in the French aisle.

I even asked the clerk as I paid for the wine why that woman was always there and if she worked for the store. He replied that I was ‘just lucky’ as she was only there two or three times a month. Yep, lucky me.

Home and ready to open the wine.

Not thinking twice, I assumed because it was Italian it had a natural cork, so did my usual capsule slice down the side (yes, yes, I know that isn’t the “proper” sommelier way to do it, but I don’t care, it’s all about expedience when you’re a single mom) only to find it was actually a screwcap!

Those tricky, tricky Italians....